As I Dream
by undecidedlycertain
Summary: The mighty Sharingan Kakashi returns from a challenging mission to find an even greater challenge awaiting him. KakashiSakura
1. Welcome Home Wayward Hero

Disclaimer: I take no credit for creation of characters, settings, etc…let credit go where credit is do.   
As I Dream 

By: _Undecidedlycertain_

Chapter One 

_Welcome Home Wayward Hero_

"Two years Hatake." It was not a question, not a reprimand either, but the hard lines set in the fifth's face were more than enough to show her displeasure.

"Yup. Two. I see you've missed me so much that you were counting the days." His eye closed in a pleased expression, but the slight downward turn of his mouth never changed. He too was unhappy about being away so long. A mission that should have taken six weeks – hell, six months would have been excusable – took one year, ten months, and seventeen days.

"Both targets are eliminated."

"Yes." Arito and Kazoutake, the latest threat from the elusive and dangerous Akatsuki, and one of the most difficult tracking job he'd ever encountered. Even with the Sharingan.

"You're Certain?" Tsundae looked at him levelly over steepeled fingers. They both understood the importance of this mission. It showed in the serious and alert set of both eyes.

"Absolutely."

A tense beat passed. Kakashi got the distinct impression that the Hokage was displeased with him, despite the success of his mission, but then she sighed and the moment was dispelled.

"Very well then." The pale porcelain of sake bottle clinked against lip of the chipped celadon glazed cup as Tsundae filled it to the brim. "To your success then. May the Akatsuki never recover." She raised her cup in a toast before knocking it back in one swig like a veteran.

It was nice to see that some things were just the same as he'd left them. Kakashi found himself breathing in the familiar scent of sake and ink that permeated the Hokage's office since Tsundae had taken residence there so many years ago.

It was good to be home.

"I expect your full report no later than Monday." The fifth stated with unbridled clarity, pouring a second shot. "As it is, you've been gone a long time. I'm sure you have things to take care of."

Kakashi nodded, dismissing the vague curiosity at her sudden concern with his personal affairs, and turned to leave.

He hesitated with his hand on the doorknob. "Has there been any news?"

"Mm? News?" Tsundae asked distractedly, not bothering to look up from the stack of papers she was perusing with a fiercely gleaming eye.

"Of Sasuke?"

Tsundae looked up briefly to meet his eye before returning to the work at hand. "There was a rumor, nearly six months ago now, that ninja matching his description was sighted in Wave. Naruto set out as soon as word reached us, but he found no sign of Sasuke when he got there."

"I see." Kakashi played his next words over in his head, choosing them carefully. "Naruto, is he out on a mission now?"

"No, no. He's in Konoha. Doesn't like to go too far lately anyway. Won't accept any missions that will take him away for more than a day or two unless it's an emergency. Annoying as hell, but that's Naruto for you."

There was something there, Kakashi knew for sure now, something she wasn't quite saying, but he was too smart to ask outright. Besides it was more fun to figure it out for himself. Games of intrigue always made for interesting internal discussion.

"And…Sakura." He almost didn't ask. Was nearly afraid to, but that was outrageous and unacceptable.

The sake cup banged on the desk hard enough to shatter it, yet it held with little more than a crack. The thing must have an iron form underneath the ceramic, Kakashi mused.

"You're wasting my time Kakashi." She snapped. Tsundae snatched up her papers, turning her chair to face the windows overlooking the Hokage monument, and putting her back to him.

"My apologies." Kakashi said pleasantly enough, turning the handle and opening the door silently.

"She's in Konoha as well. Living with her parents. I assume you know where that is."

Kakashi nodded without a word and headed out the door, wondering at the Hokage's more volatile than normal nature today.

And why the hell had Sakura moved back in with her parents? She loved having her own place.

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The streets were sparsely populated this time of day: past lunch, but not quite time to close up shop and head home yet. Shiranui Genma walked through the streets, his hands clasped loosely behind his head, breathing deeply. His contented smile, punctuated only by the happy bobbing of the ever present senbon, stretched to show an even row of teeth as a pretty young woman passed on the other side of the road laden with a basket of linens.

Ah. Damn, but it was good to be home. Even the air in Konoha was sweeter.

There was a crash and ruckus coming from around the corner just up ahead past Yaminaka's, accompanied by a very familiar Uzumaki – like shout.

Having no desire to swallow another senbon, Genma conscientiously sidestepped to the other side of the road, knowing exactly how destructive a hurricane like Naruto could be. His steps faultered in surprise when instead of the yellow and orange whirlwind; a two foot tall (and pantless!) little person toddled out into the street, chubby little legs moving as fast as they could go.

The child was giggling like mad, tossing occasional looks over his shoulder, his pale hair bouncing with each step. He barely looked big enough to walk, let alone run. And he was _fast_!

"Oi!" An exhausted looking Naruto rounded the corner not a moment later, brightening when he saw his old chuunin examiner. "Genma! Grab that kid!"

"Eh?" What was Naruto doing chasing a baby? Genma shook of the thought quickly enough. Luckily his reflexes were quick enough to snatch the pantless toddler off the ground. The kid gave him an apprising look, but did not seem frightened at being caught by a stranger. He squealed in delight and reached for the senbon, big green eyes wide and full of curiosity and wonder.

Genma pulled his chin up so the kid couldn't reach his 'tooth pick' and poke out an eye, possibly Genma's, and wondered where he had seen those eyes before. They weren't Naruto's – that was for sure.

"Thanks a lot!" Naruto gushed, resting hands on knees as he skid to a halt before Genma and the squirming baby. "He's a quick little shit, and Sakura – chan would kill me if I lost him again."

Ah. That's where he'd seen them.

Genma handed the kid over, ruffling his pale hair when he made a last ditch effort to reach the senbon with chubby open palms. He was a persistent little bugger.

"You just get back?" Naruto asked, his voice taking on a more serious edge.

"Yeah, just now actually. Looking forward to sleeping in a real bed. Preferably with company."

Naruto barked out a laugh, but his eyes retained some of their seriousness. "Kakashi?"

"Yeah. He went to report in to Hokage-Sama."

Naruto nodded, the warm afternoon glinting off his leaf headband and catching the attention of the busy toddler in his arms, who immediately started trying to climb up his captor like a tree in attempts to grab hold of the shiny metal.

"Oi! Cut it out Obito." Naruto grunted, wrestling with an opponent who was obviously besting him.

_Obito._

"Cute kid."

"Ain't he, though – ow! Damn it." Giving up, the young jounin pulled off his headband and plunked it over the head of the toddler who babbled excitedly. "Well, welcome home. I need to get him home before his mama comes looking for him. She can be scary sometimes."

"Yeah. I bet."

Naruto gave a nod and started to head back the way he came, struggling to keep hold of the wriggling bundle still trying to climb up his chest, two tiny hands fisted in the hair at the sides of his head.

"Uzumaki. Congrats man. Never figured you for the family man type."

"Eh?" Naruto said, one eye squinted shut in pain as Obito tried to pull the lock of hair he was holding down enough that he could put it in his mouth. "Oh! He's not mine."

"He's – "

"I'm just watching him so Sakura-chan can rest. Obito is Kakashi's boy."

Bomb dropped, Naruto turned as though he had merely commented on the mildness of the weather and walked away.

Genma was rooted to the spot, gaping. The sun gleamed off the senbon as it cart wheeled from his shock-parted mouth to plant itself firmly in the hard packed dirt between his feet.

"Aw hell." He said to no one in particular. Naruto had already rounded the corner with Obito, but the memory of that bouncing, pale - tufted head remained. "Does Kakashi know that?"


	2. Waiting in the Wings

Disclaimer: I take no credit for creation of characters, settings, etc…let credit go where credit is do.

As I Dream

By: _Undecidedlycertain_

Chapter Two

_ Waiting in the Wings_

He found himself standing in front of her old apartment building before he even realized his feet were carrying him in that direction. Third balcony on the right, top floor: he'd alighted upon that iron rail through the cloaking darkness of night on more than one occasion.

Dusk was settling over Konoha and the air had the sweet warmth of spring giving way to summer. A light breeze ruffled his hair as he bounced on his toes, hands thrust deep in his pockets. He was too distracted, even, to concern himself with the newest copy of Icha Icha that rested with in the folds of his vest.

The small mesh iron of the balcony had been covered in potted plants and flowers the last time he saw it, with a small table for two set in the center where she liked to watch the sun rise over the Hokage monument with a cup of warm ginseng tea. It was completely bare now: no plants, no table – not even a chair. The windows were dark and unadorned.

It was obvious that no flowers bloomed there anymore.

But _why_ had she moved back with her parents?

Money shouldn't have been an issue. Sakura had become a jounin a year before he'd left to track down the Akatsuki scum, and even if she couldn't take on a lot of field missions, her work at the hospital should have been more than enough to cover her expenses.

So much for sneaking in her window and surprising her.

At least she wasn't married - just one of the worries that had niggled at the back of his mind as he and Genma made the long journey home. The other was that he would return and find that she had been killed – just like Rin.

And the fact that she'd gotten under his skin enough to plague his thoughts so…it was disconcerting to say the least.

They hadn't been lovers for long before he was called away; long enough to build enough attachment that thoughts of her clouded his mind in the quiet of night, but not long enough to have solidified anything with words or promises.

Words and promises were useless, he reminded himself firmly as he turned toward home, then changed his mind and headed for the pub. He needed a drink to settle his mind.

It was completely ridiculous: he was acting like a teenager. He was much too old for this. There was no reason he couldn't call on her – just to see how she was doing. If things had changed then he could deal with that, but it was senseless to wander around Konoha tormenting himself about it.

But a drink first…a double, actually.

The air inside was smoky and overly warm as usual, but the murmur of friendly voices and the sight of so many familiar faces was comforting. For a heart stopping moment he thought he saw a shock of pale pink hair until he realized it was just the red glow of the neon sign reflecting off Ino's pale hair.

He sidled up to the bar lazily, both hands tucked in his pockets, and nodded to Neji and Tenten sitting a few stools over talking over cocktails.

"Sake – double it." He told the barkeep, before turning to lean lazily against the polished counter top.

The music was obnoxiously loud, as was to be expected in such an establishment, and had a hokey but catchy beat. He realized his foot had been tapping along when Kurenai walked up and stepped on his toes.

"Oh! Hello Kurenai. How have you been?" he said pleasantly while surreptitiously sliding his toes out from under her pointed heel. How exactly were those shoes practical for a shinobi?

"Well enough. Did you just get back?" she asked, her tone neither pleasant nor hateful.

"Um. Yeah. Just a few hours ago." What was up with everyone today?

"I see." She stared openly at his masked face long enough to make him start to feel a little self-conscious. Was she trying to hit on him? Kurenai _had_ been a bit off since Asuma's death.

"Eh -" Kakashi was spared some small bit of awkwardness by the arrival of his drink, but by the time he turned back to face his colleague she was waving her hand at him in disgust and stomping off.

Should he have handled that differently?

He went over the conversation in his head (which consisted of less than fifteen words total), and came to the conclusion that it couldn't have been something he said.

Perhaps his body language was offensive.

Ah! Or maybe he stunk? He hadn't been home yet for a shower, so it was possible.

Spotting Genma at a table near the back he dropped some cash on the bar and headed over. His friend and partner was chatting up a pretty waitress with a grinning Iruka looking on while nursing a tall glass of something dark and brutal.

Someone bumped into him, it was no wonder with the crowd, and he reached out to steady the familiar blond. "Woops. Sorry about that Ino."

She looked up, startled at the sound of his voice, before her eyes narrowed and she brushed past him with a very unapologetic "excuse me."

Really now, that was uncalled for. He hadn't been gone that long.

Kakashi subtly leaned his head to the side and sniffed. Not spring blossoms by any means, but not bad enough to warrant such treatment. Oh well.

"Yo." Kakashi pulled up a chair, flipping it so he could rest his chin on the back.

Iruka raised his hand with a grin, and Genma nodded, but the waitress scowled at him and stomped away.

"Aw, Kakashi! You chased her away," Genma whined sounding disappointed and more than a little drunk.

_ The hell?_

Why was the entire female population treating him as if he had killed all the big - eyed puppies in the world?

Genma, reading his reaction intuitively, said loudly from across the table, "Its probably 'cause of Obito."

"What are you talking about, Genma?" And what the hell did Obito have to do with anything? He'd been gone over twenty years now.

"KAKASHI!" A boisterous voice boomed over the din of the crowd, drawing their attention before Genma could answer. Kakashi didn't even turn in acknowledgement.

"Hello Gai."

"Nice to see you alive, rival. Good mission?"

"Good is a relative term. It was successful."

"Excellent, excellent." The thick eyebrowed jounin said absently before jumping slightly and patting himself down. "Oh! I have something for you. Been carrying it on me incase I ran into you. Ah! Here it is!"

Kakashi was slightly mystified as he found the fattest stogie he'd ever seen in all his life pressed firmly into his still gloved hand. A wide blue label was wrapped around one end stated proudly 'It's a BOY'.

"It may have gotten a little sweaty being so close to my muscular body all this time, but I'm sure it'll still taste fine. Maybe even BETTER! HA!"

Hatake Kakashi was a highly intelligent man, but it appeared that he may have just blown a fuse. He stared blankly at the cigar, his sake untouched in his shaking hand.

The sounds of empty bottles clunking onto dirty wooden tables and raucous laughter sounded strangely muted in his ears. Iruka cast a disgruntled look at Gai, who seemed to be made of rubber as it simply bounced right off with out effect.

The only clear thought in his head at the moment was that he would _not_ under any circumstances be smoking that cigar. _Ever_.

"Now would probably be a good time to have that drink." Genma offered sagely.

"Aa." He replied quietly, numb with shock.

_ Obito._

He downed the glass in one go and signaled the waitress for another.

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"Your bedspread looks like a brownie."

"Eh?" Kakashi walked into his room, his gear soaked and muddy. He was straight off one of the most miserable missions he'd ever been on. It had rained the entire time, and the mud had been knee high in most places. His eyebrows quirked at her words, while other parts stirred at the sight of the beautiful young woman sprawled across his bed wearing only a jounin vest and a pale pink pair of panties.

"It looks like a brownie." She reiterated, laying her head on her outstretched arm and tracing the white lines that zig-zaged across his brown blanket. "See, the white part is the frosting. Makes me hungry." She softly nosed the comforter with a slow smile, keeping her eyes on him the whole time. A pale lock of hair slipped forward, the pink contrasting prettily with the darkness of the bedclothes.

"I think you like saying things like that just to get a rise out of me." Kakashi bantered playfully, dropping his pack, then his vest to the floor where they landed with a pair of wet plops.

"I don't have to say anything at all to get a rise out of you, Kakashi." Sakura replied knowingly, slowly pulling herself to kneel on his bed with her knees apart and her thumbs hooked in her vest.

He supposed she didn't have anything on under that vest, eh. Very nice. But he decided to tease her a little.

"How old are you now, Sakura – _chan_. Fourteen, fifteen?"

"Twenty-four Kakashi-_sensei_. Mou – " she laughed and pouted a little, then threw a pillow at his head "you're such a dirty old man."

"Aa."

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_ How had this happened?_ The thought ran through his head over and over as he looked up at the dark windows of the Haruno home. Technically, he knew how it happened. It was more a question of how he had let it happen. It certainly wasn't planned - he didn't even think he wanted children.

Still, if he had known – if he had even suspected – he would have stayed…or fought harder to wrap up the mission sooner…something. He hated that he was the last one to know about it, and hated even more that Sakura had to go through all of it alone.

And he hoped beyond hope that Sakura didn't hate himfor it too.

Kakashi sagged on the front stoop, running his hands tiredly through his hair. He needed to see her, but it was unfair to wake the entire household in the middle of the night. He would wait until morning. Not to mention there was a baby in the house.

A baby!

His baby.

There was no sense in going home now, sleep would not find him this night. His leg twitched as the urge to leap up and rap on her window pulled at him, but he quashed it.

Besides, the cricket song was soothing and would help him sort out his thoughts.

Morning would come soon enough.


	3. Eyes Like Mine

Disclaimer: All standard disclaimers apply…poohnannies. 

**As I Dream**

By: _Undecidedlycertain_

**Chapter Three**

_Eyes Like Mine_

* * *

The Haruno household had fallen into a fairly regular routine. At six thirty Haruno – San and his wife rose, as they had every morning for the last thirty years, and shared a pot of tea as they waited for the miso to cook down. On nice days they took their tea in the back garden. When it rained they sat together on bench beneath the double window overlooking their large back yard where Sakura used to play as a child.

Obito woke at seven thirty every morning like clockwork, and Sakura would rise and have them both ready for breakfast by eight.  
But before that, at seven A.M. precisely, Haruno – san would go to the front door and collect his morning paper before sitting at the kitchen table to watch his wife cook and read the obituaries. It was the few moments of peace that he grasped for himself each day before the tag-teaming mele of having a small child in the house began.

This morning, however, when he opened the front door… a pale haired ninja fell backward over the threshold. As soon as his head hit the polished wood of the entryway his bloodshot eye snapped open.

Kakashi gauged his surroundings, taking careful note that Haruno-san could easily stomp his face into a pulp an any given moment should he desire to…and Kakashi wouldn't do a thing to stop him.

They stared at each other in silence for a while before Haruno – san sighed. "I suppose you should come in Hatake – san."

Kakashi nodded and rolled to his feet, feeling decidedly awkward. This kindly looking man had every reason in the world to hate him. He had pursued a relationship with his daughter who was not only fourteen years younger than himself, but to make matters worse he had done so with out Haruno – san's permission.

Come to think of it though, a good bit of it had been with out his permission as well…

* * *

"Haaaaaa!"

The tree never stood a chance.

"Huuuyaaa!"

Neither did that one. At the rate the timber was falling, the Konoha forest would be barren before daybreak.

"Someone has anger management issues today."

Sakura screeched and whirled around, the glow of chakra fading from her hands. Her cheeks were streaked and splotchy, and her nose bright red. Immediately she turned her back to him, wiping at her eyes with the backs of gloved hands.

"W-what are you doing here, Kakashi – s-senpai." Her voice wavered, but he admired how quickly she recovered herself. He'd always admired her strength…inside and out.

"Oh nothing. I was just passing by. Deforestation is a secret passion of mine. I didn't realize you'd taken up the cause too. Trees are nasty things aren't they, always lurking around providing shade and oxygen." She snorted a half laugh, and even though it sounded a little wet Kakashi was immensely pleased with himself. "Actually, I'd have done it myself years ago, but I've been so busy lately."

"Stop it, you." She turned back to face him with a sad smile. "The only secret passion you have is Icha Icha." She chuckled feebly, and leaned forward to whisper playfully, "And it's not really much of a secret."

He snapped his fingers and shrugged. "Aww, and I've been so careful. What gave it away?"

He stepped closer, unconsciously breathing in her scent. Her eyes were incredibly sad and it tore at his heart. He had always had a soft spot for the pink haired kunoichi, but she wasn't the heart sick little girl she'd been when he first met her so long ago. She was a strong, successful ninja, a revered medic, and an amazing woman.

His gloved fingers found the soft skin at the curve of her cheek before he could think better of it. His stomach clenched so strongly when she gasped softly at the contact, lips parting slightly, that he was instantly fifteen again and experiencing such feelings for the first time.

It was enough to give him pause. He nearly drew away, but her eyes were begging him to stay.

"Why were you crying Sakura?" He asked after clearing his throat and stuffing his hands back in his pockets. It may have made him seem cool and aloof, but it was actually a self-conscious gesture meant to keep his hands from giving anything away about what he was feeling. Hands could often be as revealing as faces.

Then she was crying again. Sobbing into his chest actually, her hands fisting white knuckled in the front of his vest. Apparently there had been an accident in the village: a little boy had accidentally activated an exploding tag. Sakura hadn't been able to save him.

Kakashi sighed, his breath ruffling the soft hair her crown as he rested his chin on her head. She had always been too tender hearted for this line of work, but she was good – almost too good. It made things like this even harder.

"Sakura," he began soothingly, rubbing small circles between her shoulder blades to dispel the tension there, "the boy was dead before they ever brought him to you. You are an amazing medic, don't you dare think otherwise, but even you can't bring people back from the dead."

"It hurts." She whimpered, and he realized at that moment that if there was anything, _anything_ he could have done in that moment to ease her pain he'd have done it with out thinking twice.

"I know. It's hard, and you have every right to grieve, but then you need to find a way to move on. There a lot of people in this place that owe their lives to you. Be sad for this one lost, but be grateful for all those that have been saved." He patted her awkwardly on the head, stepping away.

She sniffled, but seemed to be calming down. "When did you get so smart, eh Kakashi?" Her voice cracked hoarsly, but the humor warming her tone was still evident.

"Hell if I know." And he smiled when she laughed, and his chest seemed fuller all of a sudden.

There was a line here, one he should definitely not cross. One he shouldn't even be considering crossing...One that he shouldn't even be close enough to see for God's sake.

She looked so frail, like she was fighting to keep from folding in on herself. Yet she was strong, she was fighting, and the glow in her eyes was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, shining like a jade sea.

He turned and began to walk away, and he heard her huff quietly at his back in exasperation. It made him smile.

"Come on Sakura. I'll buy you a drink. Nothing quite like drowning your sorrows, eh?"

There was a moment of pause before her soft foot falls began to trail behind him.

"Ok." She hooked her arm through his and rested her head on his shoulder.

Damn. He just stomped all over that line, didn't he?

"You did say you were paying, right?" she asked, tilting her head up to cast a skeptical eye at him.

"Aa." He conceded with a small grin.

"Just making sure you wont run off while I'm in the bathroom again."

"Technically it was Naruto that stiffed you on the tab that time. I stiffed him. How was I supposed to know he was so ungentlemanly as to leave you to pay the bill?"

Sakura laughed out loud, turning her face into his sleeve. "Oh _please_!"

* * *

The tea was warm and comforting in his hands, but it didn't help to ease the quiet tension that had settled over the Haruno kitchen. They hadn't asked yet, but he was sure it was coming. 

"What exactly are your intentions for my daughter, Hatake – san."

…And there it was…

"Its Kakashi, please." He said pleasantly as he could manage, given the situation.

The large windows looking over the back garden gave a spectacular view of the newly risen sun, warm and bright, highlighting everything with golden fingers.

"I suppose I don't know what my intentions are at this point, to be honest." He paused, staring intently into the swirling contents of his cup. He was feeling uncomfortable, but he wasn't a teenage who had been caught rolling in the hay with the neighbors daughter. He was a grown man…one with duty and responsibilities. "I suppose a lot of that will depend on Sakura. I – I wasn't expecting anything like this."

Sakura's mother smiled understandingly before digging through her cabinets looking for breakfast ingredients.

Her father however spoke up from behind the fold of his newspaper. "Aa. As we were not expecting our daughter to show up on our door step pregnant and unmarried." He didn't sound angry, just honest.

It still forced a sigh from his lips.

"Its 7:20." Haruno – san said quietly to his wife.

"Oh yes." She set the packages she was working out of their wrappings onto the counter and hung the towel she'd slung over her shoulder onto the oven door handle just as a loud cry sounded from upstairs.

Kakashi, who's leg had been twitching out of nervousness, jumped hard enough at the unfamiliar sound that he knocked the table about three inches to the left.

"Its just Obito." Sakura's mother said with a small smile. "I'll go get him before he wakes Sakura. She looked so tired yesterday, it will do her good to sleep in a bit."

Several tense minutes followed in which Kakashi didn't realize he was shaking the whole table with his leg twitching until Haruno – san snatched his tea cup just as it was about to dance off the edge.

"Its not all that bad." Haruno – san offered, lowering his paper to take a sip of his tea. "Had it been a girl, however…" he trailed off with a small grin lining his face and causing his eyes to close slightly as his cheeks pushed his face upward.

Kakashi nodded, but could not summon the energy to smile back.

Then Mrs. Haruno was sweeping back into the kitchen with a small child nestled in her arms, his head on her shoulder. Kakashi froze, fascinated by the sight of him, and yet terrified at the same time.

She must have anticipated his discomfort because she didn't waltz in and plunk the child in his lap, as he was half expecting. Instead she went about her business one armed with the skill of a veteran.

Sleepy green eyes widened curiously when they spotted him; his mother's eyes set in a perfect little face under tufts of unruly downy white. He began to wiggle and his grandmother set him gently on the floor where he dashed around her legs, peeking at him from the edge of her green yukata. It was the same shade as his eyes.

Mrs. Haruno laughed affectionately and gave him a gentle push out from under foot. "Go on now. Go see Jijii-san."

"Ojiisan." Haruno-san corrected good - naturedly. "You don't want him to call you Baba, do you? Or maybe Akuba?"

Mrs. Haruno laughed again and went back to her cooking. The child toddled a bit drunkenly toward the table, and Kakashi wondered at the fact that he could walk on those squatty little legs. He stopped by Haruno-san's cushion, his head barely clearing the low table, and stared with open curiosity at the newcomer.

Kakashi simply stared back. There were no words.

Haruno-san grunted and patted the boy on the head. "Go and say hello, Obito."

_Obito_. _She named him Obito._

The child ran around the table to stand next to Kakashi and looked up at him. Kakashi looked back, clearly unsure what to do.

Obito said nothing, but began to inspect him thoroughly, curiously poking the pockets on his vest and even managing to free and a jutsu scroll before Kakashi could catch his quick little hands.

"Ah, I don't think your mother would be pleased if I let you play with that, now." He said soothingly as he tucked the scroll away more firmly.

Obito was undaunted.

"He is…bigger…than I expected." Kakashi conceded finally when Obito, bored of his new playmate already, scampered off into another room. Mrs. Haruno scampered after. "I was thinking…maybe…" he gestured with his hands a space of about twelve inches or so.

Haruno – san simply hmm'd, still tucked away behind his paper, but Mrs. Haruno smiled openly when she stepped back into the kitchen with the baby on her hip.

"He is a little over a year old now Hatake – san." She laughed lightly. "And he was never that small to begin with."

"Oh?" Kakashi looked down at his estimation and shrugged. How was he to know how big babies were supposed to be?

"Oh no. He was a very healthy little fellow. Nearly nine pounds at birth."

He nodded, unsure exactly what to say. Nine pounds didn't seem like a lot, but when you considered…

"Oh, dear. I'm out of onions." Mrs. Haruno scrunched her nose as she considered her options, a habit her daughter also displayed, and Obito ooh'd in response to his grandmother's lament.

"Can you do with out?" Haruno – san asked?

"The omelets will not be as good." She replied remorsefully, then brightened, turning hopeful green eyes on Kakashi.

And he knew that look too well not to be a bit concerned by it.

"Ah! Hatake – san, would you be a dear and run up to Takae-san's and get a batch for me? You can take Obito, the morning air will be good for him and it will give you two a chance to get to know each other better."

"Erm…"

"Thank – you so much." She said, passing the child down to him before he could answer, another trait of Sakura's that was inherited apparently. " I'm sure Sakura will be up when you return and we can all have breakfast together."

"But…"

"Eh…" Haruno-san's concerned eyes from over the top of the newsprint, but his wife nodded confidently.

"Oh! And don't let him try to sell you last week's leftovers. I don't care if he discounts them, soggy vegetables just don't taste as good unless you're making soup."

Kakashi sighed and looked at the child in his lap, who was looking back up at him benignly.

"Alright." He said, steeling himself as if he were preparing for a mission. "Um…should I carry him, or can he walk?"

Haruno – san chuckled. "I would carry him if I were you, unless you want to chase him all over Konoha."

"Erm, no." he glanced back Obito, who was happily sticking his fingers into Kakashi's luke warm tea. "Ah – won't Sakura…"

"Oh, she'll be fine." Mrs. Haruno practically sang. Kakashi was beginning to believe the woman was enjoying his discomfort.

Treat it like a mission. He could do this. This was not a problem.

Obito squee'd and dumped the last of the tea on Kakashi's crotch.

…At least it had cooled.


	4. When You Find Yourself

**As I Dream**

_By: Undecidedlycertain  
_

**Chapter Four**

_When You Find Yourself_

* * *

Kakashi felt decidedly odd walking down the streets of Konoha with a child in his arms.

His child.

Obito

He weighed nearly nothing, yet he was pretty strong for such a tiny thing, and those big green eyes looked around with such excitement and curiosity that he couldn't help be drawn in by it.

"Ba!" he shouted, pointing at a flock of birds crossing overhead.

Kakashi squinted upward. "Birds. That's right." A prickling of paternal pride swelled with in him. His son was a genius. Only a year old and he could say bird!

His son…

Obito's little arm jerked, one very chubby forefinger pointing toward old lady Hiroto sweeping her front stoop.

"Ba!" he shouted.

Kakashi barked out a laugh. "Right again! Baba!" Old lady Hiroto shot him a dirty look and shook her broom handle as he passed. Obito echoed the laugh, delighted in having amused his current mode of transportation.

The pair drew a fair number of stares, especially so early in the morning when the traffic on the streets was still fairly sparse. Most were curious, a few dewy-eyed – they even got a couple of double takes, but the pair of bobbing white heads were bound to draw some attention…especially since Kakashi hadn't been seen in Konoha in so long.

Obito was fairly content to be carried, happy to look around with wide eyes, taking in everything going on around him.

He didn't even have to haggle with Takae over the onions, thankfully, but as he was waiting for the grocer to wrap them in paper Obito perked up excitedly, pointing over Kakashi's shoulder shouting.

"Ba! Ba! Ba!"

Kakashi turned to see what had caught the little guy's attention this time and smiled.

"Hey, what d'ya know. Right again." He turned to Naruto with a happy smile and a hand raised in greeting. "_Ba_ka."

"Ha ha. Real funny." Naruto said with a grin, reaching out for the child who was literally trying to leap into his arms. "Too bad that's what he calls everything. It's the only word he can say."

Kakashi felt an odd pang of loss when his arms were empty and the child was trying enthusiastically to climb up Naruto's arms to grasp his head protector.

"Oi. Cut it out, Obito." Naruto laughed, struggling with the suddenly energized little boy. "How'd you get him to sit so still? I usually end up chasing him all over Konoha when I have him."

"Out smart you, does he?" Kakashi asked blandly, taking the package from Takae. He turned to head back to the Haruno household and Naruto took his cue and followed.

"Yea…I mean…" Kakashi chuckled as his old student sputtered, "You can laugh if you want, but you don't know how he is - ".

Yes, that pretty summed it up. Kakashi shoved his free hand in his pocket, his eyes focusing on the path before him. He hadn't felt so disappointed in himself since he'd failed to save Obito. The original Obito.

"I mean – well, I only meant that…"

"There's nothing to apologize for, Naruto. Its true."

"Who said I was apologizing." Naruto shot back with a cheeky grin. It loosened the tension in Kakashi's shoulders as he laughed quietly.

"So I suppose you're angry with me as well?"

"What? Naw. Unless you make Sakura-chan cry, that is. Why? Is she mad at you?"

"Haven't seen her yet."

"You haven't – oh shit! He didn't get out of the house again did he?"

"What? No – he's done that?" Kakashi cast a surprised, and slightly impressed, look at the child chewing avidly on the leaf insignia.

"Twice." Naruto said proudly. "The first time we thought he'd been kidnapped. Sakura went ape-shit. I really thought she was going to kill me."

"Why would she kill _you_?"

"Eh, he – he." He scratched sheepishly at the back of his head, ruffling his long blond hair. "I kind of fell asleep when I was s'posed to be watching him. I wont do that again. Believe it." His hand twitched toward his groin protectively and Kakashi cringed in sympathy.

He allowed his head to tilt back and his eyes to slip shut, letting the warmth and darkness soothe his aching head.

"Is she angry with me?" he asked suddenly, not really sure he wanted to know. There was a small tug at his sleeve. He looked over surprised. "Eh? You want me?"

"I think he likes you." Naruto said with a sincere grin as Kakashi settled his son in his arms. Kakashi stared searchingly into Obito's little face as he tucked his chubby fingers in all the empty pockets within reach.

The baby babbled before leaning into him, trying to chew on the zipper of his vest. Kakashi just watched, cringing when his little teeth scraped in a painfully grating way against the metal pull-tab.

"Listen, I figure I owe you, so I'm gonna help you out. Obito 101 - Crash course." Naruto piped up happily. "He loves sweet dumplings, climbing on things, pinching things, and breaking things."

"Sounds charming."

"Yea, he's so cool. But sometimes he cries and you can rub his belly to make him stop."

"I see."

The strange lump in his chest had moved its way into his throat where it was swelling ominously. Two days ago he hadn't even known he had a son. Two days ago he was on his way home with no intentions other than sneaking into Sakura's apartment and having mind blowing reunion sex. Now…

Now he had this amazing little person to contend with…and Naruto knew more about him than he did. He had already missed so much, and he had no clue what to do with the kid. What if he screwed up? What if he forgot his birthday? Hell, he didn't even know when his birthday was!

Damn, he was going to be a shitty father.

"Well, good luck." Naruto said with a wave, snapping Kakashi out of his thoughts.

"You're leaving?" he asked, disgusted in the slight note of panic that carried in his voice.

"Yeah, I have to meet Hinata this morning. Weren't you listening?"

Kakashi looked at Sakura's family home, looming ahead suddenly like something out of a horror movie. Was it just him, or was that the roll of thunder in the distance?

"Don't chicken out now, Sensei!" he said with an encouraging clap on the back.

Kakashi turned and incredulous look on his former student. Naruto had grown into the most powerful shinobi in the leaf village (Sasuke would have been close had he not disappeared after the fight with Itachi and Orochimaru) and it was entirely obvious by the look on his face that he was running away.

"She loves you a lot, you know. She doesn't say it, but you can tell." Naruto said seriously, before turning and throwing a grin back over his shoulder. "Besides, Sakura – chan's not _that_ scary."

Kakashi watched Naruto's back disappear down the road before turning to the house that suddenly seemed entirely too close.

Not _that_ scary?

Yeah right.

* * *

"I don't know why you're sweatin' it." Genma had said one night in the pub. "hot as hell." He'd said. "look at that tight, smackable - " well he hadn't actually been allowed to finish that one before he was choking on the splinters of his toothpick.

Kakashi sighed as his eyes skimmed over the same paragraph he'd been reading for the last half hour. The bark behind his back felt coarser than usual, the air stuffier, and his mask unbearably itchy…or maybe he was just antsy today.

"So this is where you've been hiding."

Kakashi sighed, trying to burry himself deeper behind the orange bindings of his notoriously famous reading material. Internally he was screaming at the ridiculousness of the whole situation. Thirty-seven-year-old men didn't hide from little girls. And twenty-three-year-old little girls didn't persue older men with such tenacity.

This was Anko's doing. He just knew it. She had a sick sick sense of humor, and watching Kakashi running around Konoha hiding from a certain short skirted, pink haired kunoichi with a borrowed bag of groceries or potted plant to hide his hard on was probably the best entertainment she'd had in years.

Was it actually possible to die of blue ball? Truly? He knew it was the old college stand-by, but medically…he'd ask Tsundae if he weren't so sure she'd knock him right through the windows at the top of the Hokage Tower.

"I've been looking for my favorite pervert all day." She pouted prettily, the dark lipstick (also Anko's idea) contrasting vividly with her pale skin. At least she'd left the fish nets at home this time. Personally he liked her better without them.

"I resemble that remark." He said dryly, turning the page even though he hadn't read a word on it coherently.

Honestly he didn't know why he was putting up such a fight. Maybe because she meant too much to ruin it with sex. Maybe because he was _enjoying_ their little game too much to end it.

Ugh. He really was a sick bastard.

He turned another page, well aware that she was standing over his stretched out legs and looking down at him with those big green eyes. He also knew she was blushing.

"Was there something you needed, Sakura?" he asked as blandly as possible while the knowledge that he could probably get a nice panty shot if he just tipped his head to the left a little raged rabidly through his head.

As anticipated she huffed impatiently at being ignored in favor of cheap literary porn, but instead of shouting or stomping off like she usually did, Sakura surprised the hell out of him when one slim booted foot kicked Icha Icha right out of his hands.

It flew up and somewhere to the left, but he had no idea where it landed or what happened to it after that, because he had just had a very startling revelation…

"I will not be ignored." Sakura dropped to all fours, crawling slowly up his body to straddle his waist.

…she wasn't wearing panties…

"Ok." He conceded with an asthmatic sounding wheeze. "You win." Kakashi whimpered, his head thumping back against the tree with a thunk.

Well, he was done for. Let the records show that throughout his career as a shinobi Hatake Kakashi stood at 437 wins, 1 loss. But what a way to go… His hands settled gently on her hips, his fingers flexing spasmically as his more primal urges began overriding his good sense.

"Do with me as you will." His expression was the same lazy eyed look he always had, but he knew his control was quickly waning.

Sakura frowned, her arms crossing over her chest. "That's not what you're supposed to say."

"Terribly sorry. You should have given me my script before hand."

She scoffed and swatted his chest. "Silly." Her face was a tell tale pink, and while he could tell that she wasn't uncomfortable being in such a position with him, she was uncomfortable with talking about it. "It's just – ," she admitted in a small voice, "well, its just that Anko said – "

Kakashi barked out a laugh. He knew it! Anko had been coaching her!

Except now Sakura looked offended and a little hurt and was quickly trying to scramble off his lap while struggling keeping some aspect of her modesty intact. He pulled her back down.

"Honestly Sakura, what made you think that Anko would be a good person to go to for advice?"

"Well, she's an older, _more expirenced_ woman."

Kakashi snorted loudly at the _more expirenced_ part. That was the understatement of the year.

Sakura was stammering now. "I just – oh forget it. This was a mistake."

"Why didn't you just talk to me about it?" Kakashi asked gently, brushing her hair out of her face with a gentle motion, letting his fingers trail from the back of her ear down her neck to her collarbone. Her lips parted in a small gasp that nearly made him groan.

"Right." She said a little dreamily, but still managing to keep some semblance of sarcasm in her voice. "Like I was just going to come up to you and say '_oh sensei, I've totally got the hots for you. Wont you bend me over and - _."

Shit. He really did groan at that. Loud enough to stop her mid-sentence.

"Oh my god!" she said incredulously, looking more than a little red now. "You mean that actually works. I thought Pig was just being nasty when she suggested that!"

He looked up into the leafy canopy above him, but no answers were forth coming.

Cool fingertips snagged the edge of his mask, jerking it down before he could react.

"You're blushing!" She was grinning openly, which was much better than the scandalized look she'd been giving him before (which really did make him feel like an old pervert!). Then she laughed: melodious, belly-shaking laughs that had her doubled over against his chest, inadvertently pressing herself more firmly against him. "The Great Sharingan Kakashi blushes!"

But when she looked up it was her turn to blush as they were now nose to nose. His hands went to the curve of her jaw, gentle and coaxing, and he could see in her eyes that she knew what he was thinking. Her eyes had gone all dewy and her lips were slightly parted in that 'kiss me' way.

And he figured _what the hell_. The mask was already down, he had a beautiful, _panty-less_ woman in his lap, one who had been vying for his attentions for weeks now. One who was oblivious to the fact that she'd had them for a long time now. One who…

Sakura made an impatient noise and closed the distance between them.

Their first kiss was soft and a little awkward…and the hand resting on his chest seemed to wrap around his heart with her gentle, almost shy motions.

"You're not allowed to make me feel these things with out my permission, Sakura." He said a little raggedly when they parted.

"I think that's just the way these things work." She replied a little breathlessly. Her eyes were all he could see, and the sensations between them seemed more than he could control. It was exciting and a little disconcerting at the same time.

"What things?" he whispered against her lips, watching her eyes nearly roll back as they fluttered and closed.

Instead of answering she pressed forward and kissed him again.

* * *

"What. Did. You. Do." Pakkun accused harshly, an incredulous look crossing his usually impassive face as he stared down the giggling mini – Kakashi with wary interest.

Obito tugged roughly on one of Pakkun's ears and squee'd shrilly: a double whammy for the poor dog. Kakashi tried not to grin.

"Aw, he likes you Pakkun." he cooed obnoxiously. The dog shot him a dirty look.

"You're just lucky I'm so cute and cuddly." Pakkun replied snidely, while hunkering down and leaping about the delighted child. Obito seemed to have a natural instinct for moving with the dog, which was what Pakkun was taking an interest in as well. He would be a good tracker one day, once Kakashi had trained him up a bit.

It was a humbling thought.

"I need you to get a feel for his scent, too. Apparently he has a habit of running off."

"That's only when Naruto watches him." A soft voice chimed in behind him.

Kakashi felt his senses go into high alert as he turned slowly to find her standing in the doorway watching Obito play happily with Pakkun, a serene smile on her face. He hadn't even sensed her approach.

She was thinner than he remembered, almost gaunt in the hollows of her cheeks and the paleness of her skin, but she had never looked more beautiful to him. She was also dressed differently than he'd ever seen, but the jounin pants and kimono style top didn't concern him too much, though he did mourn the loss of so much bare skin.

He stood, and on instinct began walking toward her to gather her in his arms and twirl her around to hear her gentle laughter - as he had in so many of his daydreams, but stopped himself last minute, choosing instead just to stand near her with his hands in his pockets. He didn't know if she wanted him to gather her in his arms. Didn't know if she was angry, or even if she still wanted that sort of relationship with him anymore.

Her eyes turned to him then; still as green as the first new leaf of spring, and her smile remained in place as she ran her eyes over him with out saying a word.

Then she was in his arms with a flutter of long sleeves and pink hair, and the smell and feel of her was nearly enough to be his undoing. She squeezed him lightly, delicate fingers that he'd seen take out walls of solid rock and rent furrows in the ground nearly a mile long were clenched in the fabric at the back of his vest.

"I – " he started out softly, his breath fluttering through the soft strands of hair at the top of her head.

"Shh." She whispered against his neck. "We have time."

And there, he realized as he pulled her to him fully, was that indefinable spark that had endeared her to him so much to begin with.

God, had he ever felt so full before? Had anything ever felt like home the way this did, standing with her in the circle of his arms, her soft breath puffing against his neck?

She felt thinner though, more frail, which concerned him. Not just like she'd lost weight, but like she'd lost muscle tone too…like she'd been ill.

But she was there, and she wasn't angry, and she was holding onto him like she wanted to sink right in. He could have stayed like that forever.

But then the moment was broken.

Obito cried out in distress as Pakkun dragged him backward away from the koi pond by the back of his little shorts. Both adults had jumped to look after him, before turning back to one another. Sakura stepped away with a small, slightly abashed smile.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way." She said quietly, moving to lean on the railing that overlooked the garden.

Obito, having already forgotten his quest to scoop the large shimmering Koi from the water, was now learning to chase his tail under Pakkun's careful tutelage.

She laughed softly when he wobbled drunkenly and tipped over. "I had no way of contacting you without jeopardizing the mission, and even if I could have I still wouldn't." She looked up at him defiantly, her eyes gleaming and fierce as always. "You couldn't afford any distractions."

His hand moved to cover hers on the smooth lacquered wood, squeezing gently. "Aa. You're right." He sighed in concordance. "I just – Sakura, I'm so - "

"I know." Her other hand was placed gently atop his. "It's ok."

They watched together as their son crawled through the grass chasing a grasshopper that was valiantly trying to escape his clutches.

A warm breeze slowly caressed the valley, sweeping over the top of the Hokage Mountain where the great keepers of the hidden leaf village still watched over their home. It ruffled the leaves in the trees and swayed the banners and signs hanging over doorways. It snapped the freshly laundered sheets like pennons of peace for their people…and it tussled the soft hair of the woman he loved.

"You cut your hair again."

She beamed up at him then, a playful look replacing the tired shadows lingering in her features. "Do you like it?"

Slowly, he pulled down his mask, his mouth already set in a smile. He let his hands sift through the short hair at the back of her hair before tugging gently at the longer fringe at the front.

"Aa. Its nice." He felt emboldened by the way she was reacting toward him, and surely as things were sure to change, some things were still very much the same.

Like the way her lips parted when his fingers stroked a slow line of fire from the curve of her jaw to her collarbone. And the way her head tilted back for him when his other hand moved to cradle the back of her head.

"I missed you." He conceded, pressing his lips softly, cautiously to hers. He knew the moment her lashes fluttered and settled on her cheeks that she was still his.

"I missed you, too."

There was a splash and a squeal, startling both adults, but it was only Pakkun who had inadvertently fallen into the pond while trying to distract the tot.

They both chuckled as the little dog pulled himself out, grumbling and shaking himself – and soaking a delighted Obito in the process.

"So what do you think of your son, Kakashi?" Sakura asked with a proud smile.

"I think…" he said seriously as the boy finally noticed his mother standing on the porch. A huge grin broke over the child's face, lighting it up like the sun. Kakashi felt a sensational pull in his chest and knew that he was already lost. "I think I'm still in shock, actually."

It was an honest answer. He'd never been able to lie to her – not about the important stuff. Not even when she was a still just a girl. It was much too new to label.

But she smiled and patted him consolingly on the arm. It was meant to be comforting, but the act was comical in its awkwardness and they both ended up laughing.

"It was a bit of a shock for me as well." She cut her eyes at him with a smirk before scooping her son into her arms.

"I can…imagine." He watched with an awed fascination as Sakura stepped onto the plush grass barefooted with her – _their_ child in her arms.

The sun gleamed off Obito's hair as she spun him once before settling him on her hip and smiled at him in the way that mothers have smiled at their children through all of time. At that moment something clinked into place within him.

It was as if he'd finally found something he'd been looking for all his life that he hadn't even known he was missing.


	5. Equilibrium

**As I Dream**

_By Undecidedlycertain_

**Chapter Five**

_Equilibrium_

* * *

_"Oi! Oi! Sakura – chan looks like she swallowed a beach ball!"_

The view of a very pregnant, scowling Sakura rocked as someone outside the frame hit the cameraman. She was standing at the chain link fence overlooking training field three with Ino, who's hands seemed to be glued to her friends belly, and Tenten, who had that dreaded look of baby fever in her eyes as she looked on. Poor Neji.

_"Don't say things like that, Naruto – kun."_ Hinata's soft-spoken voice picked up over the mic from somewhere behind the lense. _"Sakura- chan looks beautiful." _

"_Ha." _The blond said jokingly. _"She'd look better if that was my baby instead of Kakashi no baka's."_

"Kakashi no baka?" he asked with a quirked brow. Sakura just grinned and shrugged as the version of herself on TV waddled up and swatted the cameraman on the head.

_"Mou. You shouldn't joke about things like that in front of your girl friend, Naruto."_

_"Aw, Hinata knows I'm just joking. Don't cha?" _The camera spun away from Sakura to see Hinata's back as she stomped away. _"Oi! Hinata! Where are you going?"_

Kakashi smirked, leaning back with a leisurely stretch. The couch was surprisingly comfortable, considering he'd never seen the practicality of getting one himself.

His adrenaline was waning now, and exhaustion was creeping over him like a warm, heavy blanket. It could be the fact that he'd opted to snooze on Sakura's front porch on his first night home instead of in his own bed.

Haruno-san and his wife had gone out for the day to give Sakura and himself some time to talk things out, but Sakura had insisted that there was time for that later. Instead she said she'd much rather spend time with him, if it was ok with him.

Which it was. Very ok.

This was after she offered him the easy out. The '_you can walk out the door now and be absolved of any and all responsibility'_ way out. Of course that way entailed giving up Sakura as well, which was simply unacceptable.

Talk about life changing realizations.

Also, even though Sakura had that small, understanding smile on her face, she was cracking her knuckles as she said it…

"Whose idea was it to give Naruto a video camera?" Kakashi laughed as the scene switched to one in which the blond appeared to be creeping up on a sleeping Sakura. He set up the camera, and came into the frame with a grin and flashed a thumbs up before holding up the paints in his other hand.

He never actually got to do anything with them, as he was a little too bumbling about it and woke Sakura.

"_Oi! Oiiiii!" _Naruto yelled, ducking under the cover of his arms as Sakura swatted him repeatedly over the head with the book she'd been reading. _"I was gonna paint something cute like a bunny! I swear!"_

"_I don't believe you, teme!"_

"_Sakura – chan shouldn't swear in front of the bab – ow! Shit, that hurt."_

Kakashi couldn't help but chuckle at the boy's antics, but the slow mix of gratitude and jealousy that had been building since earlier sat ill in his stomach.

It was obvious that Naruto was excited about the new addition to their team, and that he was trying very hard to keep Sakura's spirits up, but it also seemed that he had stepped into Kakashi's shoes a bit in the process.

"Hey, don't look so serious." Sakura said coaxingly from her curled up position beside him. Her soft hand stroked his jaw gently, and he caught it in his own, holding it to his cheek and sighing at the feel. "I didn't let you see these to make you feel bad."

"Aa. I know." He said, casting a considering eye her way. "But I do seem to have missed a lot."

She grinned, leaning toward him. "Always late." She gave an exaggerated huff of irritation, before pressing her lips softly to his. It was chaste, but lingering in emotion and sweetness.

Just as he was leaning in for another, a sharp cry sounded from upstairs. Sakura jumped up, a regretful look in her eyes.

"I'll be right back." She promised.

Kakashi sighed and settled back into the softness of the couch cushions. Having a child certainly was going to add some complications to his life.

The tape went fuzzy for a brief moment before the picture returned as a jostling blur of white walls and startled nurses.

"Eh." Kakashi leaned forward in interest. Sakura seemed to have been surprisingly docile about the whole camera thing, but he didn't think she'd let Naruto film _that_.

The boy burst through a set of swinging doors and into a room with entirely too many people in it. He was panting and the camera still bobbed a bit, but he soon regained himself enough to focus on the hospital bed in the middle of the room.

Sakura was pale and panting, medics surrounding her bed with serious faces. But it was the presence of a very grim looking Tsundae that had him scooting to the edge of his seat.

"_Naruto. What are you doing?" _The fifth asked as she strode purposefully toward the camera.

"_When I heard Sakura - chan was brought here, I hurried to get the camera. I brought her bag too! Oi! I did good, eh baba?"_

Tsunade's hand covered the lense, but her voice continued softly.

"_Turn the camera off Naruto. Sakura – she's not in labor."_

"_What? What's going on?" _The boy asked seriously, all excitement draining from his voice as the camera dropped to his side. There was a quick shot of his shoes and the duffle bag he'd dropped at his feet before the screen went fuzzy once more.

Kakashi reached toward the VCR to rewind the tape, but Sakura chose that very moment to come down the stairs with Obito in her arms.

"How about some lunch?" she offered cheerfully. "Then you probably want to go get some rest, ne?"

He smiled and nodded, following her into the kitchen, but his mind was on other matters. Like the dark circles beneath her eyes and the way she had her arms wrapped. It was not uncommon for a new mother to be tired, he supposed, nor was it odd for a shinobi to use the wraps. It had never been Sakura's style though. So what had changed?

She walked slowly, and though she'd lost none of her grace there was a heaviness to her steps now: a bone deep weariness that hadn't been there before.

What the hell happened while he was away?

* * *

Hatake Kakashi dreamed in black and white.

It was always snippets of the past in shades of gray that moved much too slowly to be real, so he always knew he was dreaming.

Always reminders of his failures: the reason he was alone, and why he would remain that way for the rest of his life. He was not worthy of having precious people. How could he be if he couldn't protect them?

By some small mercy, Hatake Kakashi dreamed rarely anymore.

Which was why the dream on the last night of his latest mission to the borders of wave was so unsettling.

One minute he'd been staring blandly at the back of Ridou's head, trying to decide if what he was seeing was a bald spot trying to form, or just a really badly placed cowlick, and the next he'd been back on that day.

_Rin's tears seeped down her cheeks with exaggerated slowness as she leaned over the prone body of his partner and friend. Obito's whole body lay unnaturally still, but that stupid grin was there just the same. _

_Always the same._

_But this time something was different. He knew even before everything changed._

_The gray haze that enveloped the scene, the one he equated with the pall of pain that had enveloped him the first time he'd lived through that horrible day, was no longer a stoic character. It began to move and swirl like a visible wind around his body where he lay in the cold, damp grass beside his friend. Damp with their blood. _

_He pulled his hand up to inspect it, also something new. These dreams were often accompanied with the mind numbing paralysis he felt every time he thought back on such things. _

_Then Obito's face turned to him, the black blood running down his chin turning as brilliantly red as the sharingan of his eyes, the gray of his skin leeching into a pale, pale shade of peach. _

_Kakashi found his eyes darting up to the sweet, child-like face of Rin and wondering at the crystalline quality of the tears that seemed to drop from her chin like diamonds. Despite this, she smiled._

"_You always were the uptight asshole sort." Obito's voice cut like a dagger, not for his words or meaning, but the sheer familiarity of it and the stark clarity of the loss of such a person to the world. _

_He opened his mouth to reply, but words failed him. Color seeped into his clothes and leeched downward into the ground beneath them, all greens and browns and reds, sharply contrasting with the gray and black that once shrouded them. _

_Obito chuckled wryly. "Its time to let it go, Kakashi."_

_Then the sky broke open overhead, warm sunlight washing over them like water spilling from a basin. It was shocking enough to make him gasp for air and tear at his mask. _

_When he looked again for Obito and Rin they were no longer on the blood soaked earth, but standing together beneath the pale spray of a cherry tree in full bloom. Their forms were blurred and distorted from the brightness of the light, but when he tried to call out his voice was strangely mute._

_Obito turned then, raising his hand in greeting…or perhaps good-bye. "Oi. Don't be so worried about what you've lost that you forget what you've found."_

_And before he could do more than take a step in their direction there was a gust of wind that sent delicate pink blossoms swirling around him like the dust devils of Suna. He could see them walking away, and it broke something with in him to know he couldn't follow._

"Hatake?"

Kakashi waved an absent hand at his team mate, swiping the back of his gloved hand across his upper lip and down his chin in an unnerved gesture he rarely displayed.

"You ok, man?" Genma queried, an uncharacteristic concern coloring his normally jocular features.

"Yeah – " Kakashi was a bit disturbed by how shaken his voice sounded. He fished his handy, ever present stand-by out of his vest and began thumbing through the pages. "I had the most horrible dream." He said as if to himself, even though he was starkly aware of his rapt audience. "Someone set fire to my _Icha Icha_ collection."

He gave a mock shudder, raising the book to shield his face as his comrades laughed, all but the Hyuuga boy who simply rolled his eyes and went about the business of sharpening his katana. Genma was right about that one: the boy was entirely too serious.

There was a silent tension in the muscles of his shoulders, pinching at the back of his neck as her words floated back to him on the wind.

"_You can hide behind your books and your mask all you want, Kakashi, but running from the people who care about you is more cowardly than running from an enemy."_

The hurt look in her eyes when she said it tore at him, the passion in her voice cutting straight through all his armor to glance a blow to his heart.

But the worst part was that she was entirely right.

He was a coward.

The half-day's travel back to Konoha seemed to take eons and as soon as he'd crossed the gates he sprinted away across the roof tops, much to the shock and surprise of his team, toward the one place he hated more than anything else.

The hospital.

Her ardent pursuit of him had been as tempting and flattering as it had been surprising and unexpected. It had been fun at first: an exciting form of entertainment and an inexhaustible source of amusement for his friends. He hadn't expected feelings to get so deeply involved, though everyone else seemed to have believed otherwise judging by the knowing smirks on the faces of those brazen enough to place bets.

He tried to keep things under control. He'd only let her get so close before he started trying to push her away, but by then it had been too late. Or maybe it had been too late from the very beginning.

"Eh, Kakashi-san?" Shizune jumped, startled at his harried arrival. "Is everything ok?"

"Sakura. Where is she?"

"She's with Tsunade-sama in lab 5. Why? Are you hurt?"

He didn't bother to answer, sprinting down the halls in a frenzied search. He had no idea where lab 5 was. Of course he realized this only after he found himself racing along deserted halls full of unmarked doors.

A set of double doors swung open at the end of the hall and out stepped a weary looking pink haired medic-nin pulling a set of latex gloves off her hands and tossing them into a bin.

She looked up, all senses coming alert, at the sound of his pounding feet echoing off the sterile walls. Her face became stricken as she rushed to meet him.

"What's going on?" she demanded in alarm, tugging at the snap on her pouch even before she reached him. Her eyes began to tear in worry. "Are you hurt? Is it Naruto?"

But he scooped her up in his arms without answering, burying his nose in her hair and taking in the warm scent of her, only slightly tainted with the bitter tang of medicine and herbs.

"Kakashi?" she asked after a moment, her hands slowly brushing his sides as they made their way around his back.

"I'm sorry." He whispered against the side of her neck.

"Yes." She agreed with a bit of humor coloring her voice now that her initial worry was ebbing. "Did you just get back?" he nodded, but didn't loosen his grip. She laughed lightly. "Were you poisoned? Or did Genma spike your water flask again?"

He didn't reply. Just pulled her closer, reaching up with one hand to pull his mask down around his throat so he could press the bare skin of his cheek and mouth to her neck, not really kissing, but pressing his lips to her none the less.

She stilled and squeezed him tightly. "Are you ok?" she asked in a small voice, her breath warm and enticing against the sensitive skin just below his ear.

"Yeah." He rasped out through the force of emotion. He hadn't expected it to be so strong, hadn't realized how much he was holding back. "Just remembering what I've found."

* * *

His footsteps echoed hollowly on the stairs leading up to the top of the Hokage tower, report in one hand, subsequent reading material suspiciously absent from the other.

After lunch they had parted ways as planned, Sakura having some errands to run and Kakashi having some things to take care of.

He had found his apartment to be just as he'd left it. The only thing unusual was the glaring lack of dust and the smell of laundered linens.

Sakura had obviously kept her promise to check in on the place while he was away. Of course he'd only meant for her to check his mail and make sure no one broke in while he was away, but Haruno Sakura never did anything halfway.

He'd meant only to take a short nap, finish his report, and meet Sakura for dinner, but as soon as his head hit the pillow he was out. He'd awoken this morning to find someone had accosted him in his sleep, removing his boots and vest, and tucking the covers around him.

Presumably Sakura.

She was too good to him. Too good _for_ him. She deserved someone better, someone younger and less jaded. Yet she consistently insisted that she didn't want anyone else, despite his efforts to make her see the reasoning in these bald truths.

Stubborn little woman.

Today he would start looking for a new apartment - a bigger one, with room for a nursery and a real kitchen.

The ornate double doors leading to the wide expanse of the Hokage's office loomed before him and he knocked, giving a polite nod to the elites guarding either side of the doors. Not that Tsunade-sama really needed protection, but it was protocol.

"Enter." Tsunade's voice rang strongly from the other side.

Maybe he could find a small house, with a back yard for Obito to play in and a study for Sakura's medical texts.

"Ah! Look who it is Bi-bi!" Tsunade cooed in the kind of sickening voice that had the hairs rising on the back of his neck, efficiently shaking him from his musings.

"Bi-bi?" he rumbled lowly, looking up for the first time to see a very familiar pouf of powder white hair sprouting in front of the Hokage's ample bosom. His son chortled and crinkled the papers in front of him joyously, some of them probably important, as Tsunade looked on indulgently.

Her keen eyes snapped up to his, scanning his face for a reaction, but his mask covered whatever she was looking for. "I assume you've brought your report?" she asked in her normal brisk tones, drawing the attention of the little boy to him for the first time.

He replied by holding up the small sheaf of papers in acknowledgement.

Obito grinned, his four little teeth gleaming white in his otherwise bare gums. "Ba! Ba! Ba!" he shouted happily, banging the flat of his palms on the desk with each syllable.

Kakashi felt a smile tug at the corners of his mouth as his chest thrummed happily at the sight and sound of him. He approached the desk slowly, dropping his report on the desk and taking up the child readily when he reached for him.

Tsunade eyed him a moment, before flipping through his report listlessly. "I see you've already been introduced." She sounded brisk and half distracted, but he could tell she was keenly interested.

"Aa."

He chuckled softly when tiny, wet fingers curled under the edge of his mask, pulling it down off his face.

Tsunade watched the interaction, her eyes softening as Obito proceeded to poke and prod his face, checking the elasticity of his cheeks and lips and examining the state of his teeth. Kakashi bore it all patiently, watching his son's determinedly curious eyes.

"Where is Sakura?" he asked finally when Obito grew tired of his game and squirmed to get down.

"At the hospital." Tsunade replied, her eyes turning quickly to her paperwork, but flicked across the page too quickly to be actually reading it.

"I didn't know she had a shift today." He commented carefully, watching her reaction.

Her eyes stopped their incessant scanning, but she did not look up.

Will you lie to me, Hokage-sama?

"She doesn't. She doesn't pull shifts anymore, only research and training."

Kakashi stepped forward, looming over the wide desk, more intimidating even than the Hokage herself.

"She's off active mission status. She doesn't pull shifts at the hospital anymore. She's lost weight and looks worn out." He commented lowly, but not as angrily as he wanted to for fear of frightening his son, who was toddling behind ton-ton in effort to catch her curly tail. "It leads me to wonder what it is that everyone is _not_ saying, here?"

Instead of answering Tsunade carefully set his report to the side with a nod at his thoroughness. "Everything seems to be in order. You are dismissed for now."

Kakashi felt his knuckles whiten within the confines of his pockets. He turned to look at his son, now actively blowing raspberries on the full sized windows lining the back wall of the office.

Before he could even take a step, Tsunade had him snatched up in her arms.

"Oh no you don't. Monday mornings are gran-gran Tsu-Tsu's. You can come back and get him after lunch if you want, but until then he's mine." She turned to coo at the boy in her arms who was curiously watching her with his fingers in his mouth. "Isn't that right Bi-bi?"

Kakashi must have looked a bit taken aback, because she laughed then.

"Go on now. I'm sure you have things to do. Come back in a couple hours."

Stiffly he turned, caught between anger and incredulity as he headed out the doors to the sound of patty cake and peek-a-boo echoing behind him.

It was fine, he told himself, still feeling miffed. He did have things to do. He had to stop by the realtor, but first and foremost he had to find out what was wrong with Sakura. She wasn't likely to tell him with out a fight and he didn't want to pick one so soon after getting home.

So his only other option was to find someone else who would know. Someone he could drag answers out of…someone easy to dupe. Someone like …

He left Hokage tower, checking the position of the sun. It wasn't quite ten yet, but a certain noodle stand would be opening soon, and that would be the best place to start.

* * *

AN: sorry about the delay. My whole family has been playing bathroom volleyball with a nasty stomach virus and I've been actin nurse maid all week. Yea. Anyway, getting into the nitty grity now. Thanks for all the interest. I've had some really wonderful reviews. Specific, helpful reviews are very encouraging. Thanks! P.S. I'll have a short up soon called The Scarecrow's Seduction, hopefully very funny. Will be Kaka/Saku, but there will be other very embarassing attempts involved. Keep your eyes out if you're interested. U.C.


	6. A Shattered Dream

**As I Dream**

_By: Undecidedlycertain_

**Chapter Six**

_A Shattered Dream_

* * *

As far as noodle stands went, Ichiraku was about as quaint as they came. There was just a cozy air about it: from the well-worn cushions that topped the tall stools, to the proud smile the owner gave with each bowl served. The food was by no means high class, but for noodles in broth – well, you just couldn't find any place better.

But instead of feeling hungry at the prospect of a meal that was a hundred percent comfort food, Kakashi found himself standing…lurking…stalking in the watery shadow cloaking the alley between the two shops across the way as he awaited his prey.

A man had his pride, but some things were more important than appearances. He was a good ninja, Kakashi knew this, some had even been so bold as to call him legendary, but he was no longer a match for his former student in a one on one fight. Naruto had simply grown too strong.

The boy had made good on his claims to surpass the fourth. The Yondamie would be proud.

Unfortunately, that left his options at:

A – drugging the boy, which had several possible outcomes – some of which were not all that appealing (especially explaining it to Tsunade-sama)

Or

B – out smarting him.

The latter was obviously the most reasonable choice, though the first one did have its merits should Kakashi's temper get the better of him. Perhaps that bottle of triple black in his apartment would come in handy after all, the boy never had been able to hold his liquor well.

Dismissing the thought with a shake of his head, Kakashi continued to lay in wait, tension rolling off him like heat on tarmac. The air was already warming with the promise of a hot day, and not a cloud in the sky for shade. Perhaps Naruto had forgone his traditional lunch for something cooler. And perhaps hell had frozen over.

Of course there was always the possibility that he had been dispatched on a mission earlier in the morning. Kakashi sighed, rolling his shoulders in an uncommon gesture of impatience. It wasn't like him to give in to such urges, there was a sense of power in the ability to control one's natural impulses, but it seemed his discipline was lax lately.

And patience had always been a virtue of his, but he was all off kilter today; after only a short time of crouching in the dingy alley he found himself becoming uncontrollably twitchy. It was incredibly frustrating.

He was a man raised up in the art and means of stealth, capable of remaining motionless for hours at a time when laying in wait or watching a mark. Yet here he was, standing on a side street in Konoha for no more than twenty minutes and he was already shifting his weight like a cornered animal in an effort to stay the urge to pace.

Kakashi grunted at his own unsettled state of mind, reaching for anything that might provide a hint of normalcy, and finding it in the form of the well-worn bindings of his favorite distraction. Eh, scrap that, it had been downgraded to his second favorite shortly after he and Sakura had started 'seeing' each other. It seemed like it was just yesterday she was flitting past his apartment repeatedly on 'errands' in a painfully obvious ruse to get him to invite her in, and yet over three years had passed since that day.

Sadly, distraction and disinterest had him closing the book again just a few moments later, a true testament to his current state of mind. He sighed, giving into the primal urge driving at him, and began pacing furiously back and forth across the mouth of the alley.

The boy kept him waiting longer than expected, but did not disappoint.

"Eh, Kakashi-sensei! What are you doing out here so early?" Naruto greeted him in his usual happy-go-lucky way when Kakashi strode out to meet him in front of Ichiraku, purposefully softening his strides so as not to appear menacing.

"Early? It's nearly eleven, Naruto." Kakashi responded with light humor, his hands shoved comfortingly in his pockets.

"Yeah. Isn't that a little early for you?" Naruto scratched nervously at his chin, sporting a healthy growth of yellow fuzz that he was obviously unaccustomed to.

"Not really."

"Oh." Then a belated smile. "Ok. Were you looking for me, then?"

"I thought I'd buy you some ramen." Kakashi said casually, crinkling his eye in the way that said he was smiling. It was a smile he could put on at will – a smile that could hide many things.

Naruto looked blatantly suspicious, most of the naivety of his youth having burned away right along with the baby fat that used to pad his cheeks.

"Since you took such good care of Sakura while I was gone." He added easily, Naruto's uncertainty melting away in an instant. _Most_ of the boy's naivety was gone, not _all_ of it.

"Sure, why not." He agreed readily, leading the way to his favorite stool. "I was gonna grab an early lunch before heading out for my mission anyway." He signaled to the owner for a bowl of pork noodles, and Kakashi ordered the same.

"Anything interesting?" Kakashi inquired in an attempt to make small talk, loosening his ex-student up before bringing up the real topic.

"Naw. Just some stuffy noble wanting expensive body guards for his trip to Eihro."

"Eihro, that's east of here, right?" Kakashi asked, even though he knew quite well where Eihro was located.

"Yeah," Naruto snapped his chop sticks apart as two steaming bowls were plunked in front of them, "its only about a half day's trip, but he wants us to stick around for some fancy shindig going down tomorrow, so I won't be back until Saturday."

Kakashi nodded, making a snap decision to throw Naruto completely off his game. With exaggerated movements, he pulled the slinky material of his mask down to pool around his neck before lifting a bite of noodles to his lips. He wasn't sure if it would work, thinking for a moment that perhaps the novelty had worn off after so many years…until he heard Naruto begin to choke.

"Alright?" he asked, cutting his eyes toward the boy…no, he was a man now, wasn't he? It was rather depressing, realizing that you were getting old.

Naruto nodded, red faced, but recovering. His eyes were riveted to Kakashi's face though, playing right into the older man's hands. This might not be so difficult as he'd originally thought.

"So, Sakura-chan forgave you, eh?" He asked with a twinkle in his bright blue eyes, already scooping up another bite.

Nope, not too difficult at all.

He nodded, quietly slurping up a mouthful of noodles himself, and chewing with a carefully thoughtful look on his face. He had to do this just right.

"She seemed glad to see me." He said with honest affection. "She's a very understanding woman."

"Che. _Sometimes_." Naruto scoffed, scooping up the rest of his own noodles and signaling for another bowl.

"Aa," Kakashi agreed, a genuine smile transforming his face from that of a shinobi to that of a man as he stared at the pale noodles swimming in the broth before him, "sometimes."

Naruto was staring at him with open fascination, but he tried his best to ignore it, playing the oblivious old man card. It would be worth his personal discomfort to get some straight answers.

"Naruto," Kakashi began cautiously when the second bowl of ramen was placed before the young man, "was Sakura ill while I was away?"

He choked on the first bite, hacking in a painful sort of way until he could breath again. Kakashi remained in his seat, staring into his half empty bowl.

"Eh, heh…what makes you say that, Kakashi-sensei?" He was rubbing his throat with a pained expression, but Kakashi had been around long enough to recognize nervousness when he saw it.

"She seems thinner...and paler." He answered distantly, his eyes seeming far away, though he was watching the younger man through his peripherial with a measured tenacity. "And I don't think she's been sleeping well."

Naruto swirled his noodles around in his bowl. "And what does Sakura say about it?" He asked in a muted tone, his mind shockingly not on his food. Ramen had always been a passionate subject for Naruto, it bode ill that he was troubled enough in speaking about what was wrong with Sakura that he abandoned a half-eaten bowl.

But he was being careful...too careful. Naruto had already been coached on this. He should have figured, knowing Sakura as well as he did, but he wasn't going to back down.

"Nothing." Kakashi said with a sigh. "But she's been taken off active mission status…"

"That's just because of Obito." Naruto interrupted a little too quickly to be a natural response.

"Maybe, but she's no longer working shifts at the hospital, either. Tsunade told me that herself."

He chanced a quick glance in time to see Naruto grimace into his bowl, his fist tightening against the countertop where it rested. Kakashi realized with an internal sigh that he was going to have to bring out the big guns. Despite the fact that he'd been relatively close with Naruto for years, he liked to keep personal things personal.

"There was also a video." He stated slowly, heedfully gauging the reaction he got. He was not disappointed, Naruto stiffened in his seat, chopsticks snapping in his clenched hand.

"Uh, _damn_." He said with out a smile, setting the broken sticks aside and grabbing a new pair. Kakashi wasn't sure if he was refering to the chopsticks or the video.

"You were there." Kakashi continued as if nothing had happened, unwilling to let it drop.

Naruto sighed heavily, placing his unused chopsticks across his nearly full bowl before rubbing his hands over his face in a tired expression. Kakashi waited patiently.

"I'm not supposed to talk about it." He said finally, a weary sadness pulling at his normally jovial features.

"I need to know what's going on." Kakashi reasoned quietly. "I can't take care of her if I don't know what's wrong in the first place."

Naruto sighed again, slumping over his bowl a little. "You're right. Sakura's going to kill me, but you're right." It spoke volumes that he dropped the childish honorific. Naruto always called her Sakura-chan, ever since they were children. Hell, he would probably call her Sakura-chan when they were ninety-years-old, all wrinkled and knotted, and he was just a memory of a man who once held her heart.

Part of him felt jealous at the thought of the special bond the two of them shared, while another part was grateful that she had chosen such strong, infallible people to guard her love.

"What happened that day in the hospital?" Kakashi urged, steering the conversation in a mild but commanding way.

Naruto grimaced, remembering the tang of a bitter memory, and began to explain.

Everything had been fine after the initial 'oh crap' reaction to Sakura's pregnancy. She was healthy, the baby was coming along perfectly, and Sakura was excited beyond measure about becoming a mother, despite the occasional _looks_ she received from those in Konoha who were tactless and small minded. She had even managed to rope a grumbling Izumo and Kotesu into painting the room she'd set up for a nursery at her apartment.

But then she started getting tired a lot, which everyone said was normal during pregnancy. Only, it wasn't normal. She would just nod off at the strangest times: sitting on a bench in the park, at her desk at the hospital, while leaning against a wall to take a breather.

Tsunade prescribed some special vitamins, which didn't do anything other than make her pee green, or so Naruto recounted as her major complaint.

Then she started getting the shakes. It would happen randomly at first, but by the time she was seven months along, everyone was getting worried. It was obvious that something was not right.

The day the video from the hospital was made, a video that was supposed to have been erased, Sakura started shaking and couldn't stop. By the time Naruto had arrived her kidneys were already shutting down.

"What – " Kakashi had to clear his throat before he could finish the question, his mouth suddenly dry. "What was causing it?"

Naruto shook his head sadly. "They still don't know exactly." Calloused fingers - fingers worn with years of hard work and toil, were steepled in front of cheeks that were striped with the blessing - curse placed on him at birth. He blew out another heavy breath. "She almost died – would have died if Tsunade-baba hadn't been there."

Kakashi's knuckles went white under the bar, his grip fisting hard enough to squeeze the blood from his fingers. Sakura had been in pain...and he had been off stomping through the woods on a wild goose chase. It left him with the sour feeling of self-loathing and inadequacy. Naruto continued on, his face frozen in a tormented expression, oblivious to Kakashi's similar distress.

"Her chakra was attacking her own body, shutting her body's systems down one at a time, starting with the kidney's and liver. It was even attacking the baby. Tsunade said she'd never seen anything quite like it, never even heard of anything so bizarre, and she's read an _ass load_ of medical books from all over the world."

Naruto turned a thoughtful look at the waxy texture of the canvas overhead, his foot drumming a nervous rhythm against his stool's thick post. Kakashi cleared his throat, urging him to continue in the only way he knew how when words failed him.

"It's just so damned weird." The blond postured seriously, his brilliant eyes turning on his one time mentor with the full force of his emotions. It was always a bit staggering when the young man was being so serious, his emotions seemed to project so loudly. "I mean sure, you can turn someone's chakra on them for a while with jutsu, but Sakura hadn't been on any missions, or around anyone that could have used any jutsu like that on her. And it wasn't like the chakra was even acting like chakra; it was acting like a poison. Instead of burning her up, or consuming her from the inside out, it was simply destroying her body's ability to function."

"What did Tsunade do?" Kakashi asked, his forced calm wavering slightly.

Their soup was getting cold. The steam had stopped billowing around their faces like a pork-scented facial. It didn't matter: Kakashi had lost his appetite, and he had a sinking suspicion that Naruto wouldn't be finishing his lunch either.

"In order to save both their lives," he paused, adjusting his hitae-ate on his forehead, eyes still fixed on his unfinished bowl of noodles, "she had to seal Sakura-chan's chakra completely."

"That's a dangerous procedure." Kakashi grimaced, his hands twitching toward his mask in his discomfort. "And painful."

Naruto grunted unhappily. "It was awful, but if we hadn't done it, we'd have lost them both."

"But it didn't work…not completely at any rate."

"Damn, you're not going to let me off easy on this are you?"

Kakashi didn't even need to respond to that.

"The seal…when Tsunade tried to use an ordinary seal, Sakura's body rejected it. She started having convulsions. I thought…I don't even want to say what I thought." He admitted, scrubbing his fingers through his scruffy blond hair.

Kakashi felt a numbing cold seeping into his chest.

"Che, damn good thing Tsunade-baba knew what to do. It took both our chakra and some of Kyuubi's to do the five elements seal, and even then we were afraid it wouldn't hold, but she finally started to stabilize."

"Five…you had to…" Kakashi's eyes had widened in shock, disbelief clearly etched into his face.

"Yeah." Naruto said grimly, giving a humorless smirk at Kakashi's look. "I thought that too, but we did what we had to do."

"If it worked then why is she still sick?" Kakashi demanded, anger bubbling up, cracking his cool demeanor.

Naruto's mouth twitched, his frown rigid. "Because the seal is failing."

"Failing?" Kakashi asked, coming up straight in his seat. "You mean it's fading? Her chakra is leaking through?"

"No, I mean it's failing. The seal is still as intact as it was when we put it there. It's like her chakra is moving _around_ the seal."

"That's…"

"Impossible? Trust me, we've been through all the scenarios. Impossible or not, it's happening, and if we don't figure out how to stop it, it'll end up killing her."

* * *

"Position A…clear."

"Position B…clear."

There was a pregnant pause before an annoyed sigh sounded over the head set.

"Position C?" Kakashi asked droningly, trying his best not to let his amusement warm his voice.

"Is this really necessary?"

"Of course." He replied, fully enjoying her irritation.

"Come on Sakura-chan!" Naruto's enthusiastic voice crackled loudly in his ear, drawing out a wince. "Be a sport!"

"This is stupid." Sakura wheedled. "I can not believe someone shelled out the money to classify _this_ as a B rank mission."

"Who are we to judge what stupid people do with their money?" Kakashi responded sagely, though inside he felt the same way. Why the hell would someone pay the extra fee for Konoha Jounin when it was a job even genin could perform flawlessly?

After all, spying on a 15 year-old-boy's voyeuristic habits didn't take much by the way of combat skill, and if you counted in the hormones and rushing blood…well it didn't really take much stealth either.

The Takenaka's were a wealthy family who ran a prosperous luxury bathhouse just three day's south of Konoha. They specialized in beautifying treatments, scented oil soaks, and all sorts of nonsense that women seemed to think they needed to be considered desirable. This meant that they drew in all kinds of rich clientele on a regular basis. It also meant that they drew in many a fresh, young bride's-to-be.

The Takenaka's had a fair bit of renown within Fire Country, but as of late they had suffered several complaints from their younger clients of a peeping tom – one whom sometimes displayed ungentlemanly (and unmentionable) actions of a sexual nature while watching them bathe. The family suspected their youngest male, who had always been a bit of a troublesome boy, but wanted proof before confronting him.

Actually, this really wasn't a job for ninja at all, but who were they to argue with a fat paycheck for an easy job.

And really, what _was_ Sakura complaining about anyway. All _she_ had to do was take a bath in the Takenaka's infamous hot springs. There were kunoichi who would kill for such an assignment. Or at least seriously maim.

"Fine." Afore mentioned perv-bait snapped peevishly. There was some angry mumbling and rustling of clothes. "But I swear - " she growled as the shoji slid open with a snap, a yukata clad Sakura stomping out, " – if that pervert gets anywhere near me I'm going to knock him through a tree."

She'd barely pulled the tie on her robe loose when there was a rather loud snapping of twigs in a nearby tree, followed by a few choice muffled curses. Sharp eyes swung round toward the source of the noise as her hands stilled, holding the folds of the robe together.

"Naruto!" she hissed, her face turning back to the water in an attempt to _not_ blow their cover, as she dipped a slim foot into the shallows, feigning a temperature check. "What are you doing on point?"

"Well…er…someone had to be here, and I just thought that, well, you'd be most comfortable if it was me?" He ended it like a nervous question, sounding very much like he was sixteen all over again.

She was very quiet for a moment, her toes swirling figure eights over the surface of the warm water. Then, very quietly, she said. "Change with Kakashi."

There was a pause, then "What!"

"You heard me. Do it now or I'm going back inside."

"But Sakura-chan…he's a way bigger pervert than I am."

Kakashi rolled his eyes at the statement, and the fact that the blond power house had never been able to look past the dirty books he read to see that it was all a cover. Well…mostly. They were entertaining.

"Maybe," Sakura's cool voice sounded steady, if a little breathy, and Kakashi knew immediately that he was in trouble, "but he's the least likely to get…_distracted_."

"She's right." Sai taunted over the headset. "You'll be reaching for your tiny dick the minute she drops her robe."

"Shut the hell up!" Naruto shouted back.

Kakashi sighed as they started to squabble.

"Just go to position B." he told Naruto as patiently as he could. The boy whipped around and nearly fell out of the tree, not having even realized that his squad leader was standing behind him. "And be quiet. You'll scare him off with all your yelling, if you haven't already."

With a glare, and a fair amount of whispered cursing, Naruto disappeared into the leaves.

"Position B clear." Naruto confirmed in a monotone voice after a moment.

"Position C… clear." Kakashi confirmed, before turning to watch Sakura. There would be no one else at this particular spring today, and as it was the most secluded, it was the best place to set their trap.

"Position D…" the girl – woman now really, she was twenty three – looked up at the tree he was perched in, and despite the pink rising in her cheeks, she gave him a devilish grin before letting the robe pool at her feet. "…clear."

Kakashi felt himself swallow convulsively at his bodies sudden, near violent, reaction. Shit. That was pretty much all there was to say. And boy was he in it deep.

Fraternization on a mission – _especially _with a teammate – was strictly taboo, but this hardly counted as a real mission, and Sakura was getting dangerously good at the little dance they'd been doing around each other lately.

Her headset was dumped carelessly onto her yukata, flipping one of the long, white sleeves over it with a flick of her slender foot to conceal it as much as to keep it dry.

She took her time getting into the water too, the little tease, making sure to slide in gracefully and choosing to wade out only far enough that the water barely touched the crest of her hips.

His jaw clenched hard enough that his teeth squeaked.

Careful to keep her eyes cast demurely toward the water, Sakura began pouring handfuls of water over herself starting at her belly just above the smooth dip of her navel, and working her way up until she had his eyes tracing every tiny rivulet that made its way over the slope of her breasts and down the valley in between.

When she finally dunked herself he let out a shaky breath, trying to regain some sense of his self-control. He thought he had a handle on himself until she came back up, flinging her hair back with an impressive arc of crystalline drops, steam from the heat of the water curling around her alluringly.

Her hands smoothed over her hair…then down over her chest…then lower.

Shit

She cast a naughty look in his direction once more before moving to lounge on one of the rocks arranged artfully in the shallows. The cut of the rock arched her back deliciously and her hands resumed tracing the many trails the water droplets made over her bare skin.

His hands clenched…and twitched. Damn it all, he was shaking too.

Her slim fingers moved slowly over her navel, and though she was blushing like mad, they began to move lower. Her hips were submerged in the shallow water, but the crook of her knees poked through the surface, so when she slowly moved them apart and her hand disappeared beneath the water, he knew exactly what she was doing.

A choked groan escaped his throat, which he quickly tried to cover up with a series of forced coughs.

"Kakashi?" Naruto's voice growled viciously into the earpiece.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

"Swallowed a bug." He lied. Badly. Sakura was going to get a good laugh out of this.

Damn though, if that little voyeur showed up he was going to get one hell of a show.

Wait! Oh hell.

He practically dove out of the tree, and, though he made almost no noise doing it, Sakura sensed his movement, quickly jumping back into the water so it covered up to her chin. He had the kid by the throat not even a second later, which was probably a little harsh for a bit of peeping, but not nearly as bad as what he did next.

He punched the kid. Hard.

Once for looking at Sakura, and then again just to work out some of his frustration.

"Damn, Kakashi." Naruto said, dropping to the damp, mossy earth beside him. "I didn't know we were supposed to beat the shit out of him too."

"That's because we weren't." Sai supplied smoothly, dropping soundlessly at his other side.

"We weren't?" Kakashi feigned innocence. "My bad." He patted the unconscious boy on the head a little too roughly to be considered apologetic and said in a jovial voice, "Sorry about that."

By the time they got back to the springs Sakura had her robe back on, and her hair wrapped in a towel. She took one startled look at the unconscious teen before turning incredulous eyes to Kakashi, who shrugged and mumbled that the boy accidentally walked into his fist.

Mission wrapped, it was decided that the guys would take the unconscious voyeur back to his family while Sakura changed and prepared for their return journey.

"Ok." Sakura agreed, turning for the bathhouse. "We'll meet up at the front gates in thirty minutes, then."

"Oi, Sakura." Sai called after her, his voice positively radiating with the delighted prospect of juicy blackmail. "If I'd known you were going to put on such a good show _I_ would have argued for point."

Sakura froze, shoulders stiff. She turned slowly, a flush painting her from her hairline all the way down, disappearing under the folds of her robe.

Kakashi turned and began walking quickly toward the main house. He would have done the gentlemanly thing and hit the boy, but he didn't want to take that joy away from Sakura herself.

"What did he mean by show?" Naruto asked, jogging slightly to keep up with his hurried strides.

Boom!

The sound of cracking tree trunks echoed like an explosion, making the ground beneath them tremble.

Kakashi shrugged, hitching the unconscious body of the young Takenaka higher on his shoulder and hurried forward, lest she decide to take her embarrassed anger out on him as well.

* * *

The waning light of sunset washed over her pale skin, making it glow with a honeyed warmth that made her look youthful and healthy, despite the dark circles marring the flesh beneath her dark lashes – despite what he knew as truth. A soft breeze blew through the trees carrying the smell of warm grass and hibiscus, and tugged playfully at the collar and loose sleeves of the soft yukata draped about her frail frame.

He'd been watching over her for nearly an hour now, soft lashes kissing pale cheeks as she slept. Sakura's mother had taken Obito inside as soon as she realized her daughter was dropping off where she rested on the back patio. She had directed Kakashi out there when he'd arrived after loading him up with a kettle of tea and a stern warning not to wake her until she had gotten some rest.

When he'd asked about her obvious lethargy, Haruno-san had broken a glass and quickly excused herself.

Kakashi frowned, brushing back a thatch of pink that had been snagged on the breeze, and tucked it behind her ear. Why had she kept something so important from him? Why had she brushed it off as a trifle when he'd questioned her? Was she afraid he would leave when he found out? Did she truly think he was so shallow?

His thoughts were a troubling jumble of emotion overriding reason, and he realized that if he didn't calm down, he might just yell at her when she woke - something he definitely did not want to do. Forcing his mind to clear, Kakashi settled his weight on his heels, both body and mind stilling in the settling dusk. A bird cawed twice in the distance as if heralding the coming night, and Kakashi found himself allowing the rhythmic humming of the newly waking nocturnal insects to wash over him, carrying him into a near meditative state.

The sounds and smells around him became vivid and distinct: the buzz of insects, the feel of the breeze teasing the ends of his hair, the rustle of a bird in the leaves of a gardenia bush, the gentle, steady rasp of Sakura's breathing, the smell of chamomile from her favorite shampoo, and the faint tang of medicinal herbs gently overlaying the warm sweetness that was all Sakura. The scent had been engrained upon his olfactory like a homing beacon, his body reacting to it like a stimulant for years now, even before he would admit to having feelings of any sort toward her.

A sigh passed his lips in irritation as he pulled down his mask and pushed his Hitae-ate off his forehead, draping it over his knee, and enjoying the freedom he could taste on the breeze. He knew for certain, had probably realized on some level all along, that he would never be rid of the need he felt to be near her, to care for and protect her; the need to be the one to provide for her all the comfort and security she could ever need or want. It was a done deal long before he'd ever committed to anything in word or action. Once she'd shimmied her way under his skin with sleepy touches and gentle words, he had signed over ownership of his heart whether he'd realized it at the time or not.

"Hey." Her voice was soft and willowy, and when he looked down, her eyes were still sagging with the weight of exhaustion. But she smiled for him, that warm, sleepy smile that was branded into his consciousness, and reached out to gently take his hand in her own much softer one.

"Hey." He replied in kind, feeling heart sick and helpless. It must have shown on his face because she sobered immediately, struggling to sit as though her body bore a great weight.

Worry etched slight creases in her forehead. "What's wrong?" She looked startled for a moment, coming completely awake and looking around frantically. "Where's Obito?"

He soothed his hand up her wrapped forearm, momentarily grinding his teeth at the sensation of the gauzy bandages she was hiding herself with. He forced a small smile. "Inside. Your mother is giving him a bath."

"Oh." She settled back, relaxing slightly in relief. "Not brave enough to take that on yourself yet, eh?" She grinned, but it fell quickly when she realized he wasn't sharing in her good humor. "What is it? You're not leaving again, are you?"

He shook his head and lifted her hand with his own, gently pressing the cool tips of her fingers to the warmth of his lips.

Sakura was a very intelligent woman. He had known that from the first time he'd met her, despite her unhealthy attachment to a certain broody young prodigy.

Her eyes glossed over as nervousness, worry, and hopeless acceptance flashed over her face in rapid succession. Her chin dimpled and began to quiver – her unmatchable courage failing her suddenly. She looked away.

"When did you find out?" she asked in a small, trembling voice that did not suit her at all.

"Why – " he began hoarsely, ignorng her question in favor of his own, and finding that his voice was failing him yet again. "Why didn't you say something? Why didn't you tell me?"

He could see her temper flare with a tangible heat, her shoulders stiffening, and her watery eyes locking on him with a defensive gleam.

"What was I supposed to say?" and remarkably, her voice cracked but did not break. "You've only been home for 3 days. What the hell did you want me to do?" she jerked her hand from his grip, swinging her legs over the side of the chair and pushing herself onto unsteady legs.

"Sakura - " he stood to steady her, but she swung away.

"No. I understand how you feel – believe me, but I don't know what you want from me? Was I supposed to greet you at the gates and say _'oh! You're back Kakashi. So good to see you alive. This is your son, whom you know nothing about, by the way I'm dying.'_"

His heart lurched painfully at her words, an angry, acrid tang rising up in the back of his throat in response.

Her chest heaved and she groped for the back of the chair to steady herself. "You have no _idea_ what I've been through."

"Damn it, Sakura! Don't you think I know that?" He finally managed to grab her, pulling her tight against his chest.

She fought him only for a moment before she gave into him, crying against his shoulder as his hand rose to cradle the back of her head gently. He found himself mumbling incoherently into her hair, mostly 'Its okay' and 'I'm here' over and over.

"I'm scared." She whispered against his neck, her breath warm and moist against his skin. He couldn't even summon the energy over the dread weighing him down to be enticed by the sensation.

He squeezed her tighter, a horribly familiar ache growing at the back of his throat. He didn't trust himself to speak.

"I'm so tired, Kakashi. Tired of fighting - tired of being strong." She shuddered against him and they sunk together to the still sun warmed stones that paved the patio. "I don't want to die."

Her words broke something in him; something he'd thought had been broken long ago.

The thought of her being taken from him when they were finally to a point where they could forge something deeper, something stronger than words or the passionate merging of their bodies, it was staggering. To even consider that his days of holding her this way, of the scent of her warm hair tickling his nose, and feeling the silken softness of her skin under his hands…to think that it was only a vapor, too quickly burned away by the sun…it was more painful than losing his eye. More painful than losing his father, and God help him, it was more painful than losing his best friend.

Kakashi remembered suddenly, through the ragged tearing in his soul, why he had vowed to never again have precious people…

And for the first time in 27 years, Hatake Kakashi wept.


End file.
